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Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
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11:41 pm - All new friends;
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Posting this at a later date so it stays at the top of my journal.
Just a quick request; If anyone adds me to their friends list, please drop me a quick note here so I can check your journal out too, and return the favor. I sometimes don't get the chance to check through my "friends of" list, and I'd love to meet any new people who add me! :)
(Same goes for removing me, I guess...if you remove me, would be nice to know why!)
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(I heard 145 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Thursday, March 21st, 2002
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6:38 am
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I'm so tired.
Years ago, I'd have adored this kind of job...involving sitting in a little office by myself in front of a computer for 8 hours a day. Now I just feel incredibly lonely. The kids in the classes in the room next door give me a headache, but I keep the office door open so I feel like less of a hermit.
For the first time in my life, I'm aching for human contact. Coffee and conversation, laughter, familiarity, love. And for the first time in my life, everyone is pulling away from me.
What pros do I have for today. Some year 8 boys helped me fix a computer without being asked. I got email from a friend telling me that he enjoys reading my journal and poetry. And the sky is a beautiful lavender-pink color.
Maybe it will be a beautiful day tomorrow.
Love you.
current mood:  lonely
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(I heard 41 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Sunday, March 17th, 2002
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3:00 am - 2 entries in 1 night! Bask in the glory!
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I forgot to mention that I found out I have asthma.
But the inhaler gives me a rash on my face. Guess I should stop squirting it all over my cheeks.
No. But really, I used it and the next day the rash came. So I'm putting it away for safe keeping. For now.
Funk dat.
(or somesuch.)
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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2:17 am - An update for anyone who still reads this;
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What we've got goin' on is so incredible
This chemistry between us feels so wonderful
But knowing me I'll probably find a way to mess it up
Who knows? Who cares?
Right now, just let me be in love
Hi.
Life in my acre of the woods is fine. Fine fine fine.
...
What more is there to say? I don't know how I used to be able to ramble on and on and make 100 entries per night, when now I can barely think of anything to write at all. Ironic considering I was doing fuck all back then, and now I'm busy busy busy.
How are you guys all doing? I'm severely behind in reading LJ's, but I'm gonna catch up soon.
Ok, so maybe things aren't so fine after all, but what am I gonna achieve by airing dirty laundry here?
I've spent my life lately weighing the pros and cons, trying to decide whether I like life or not. Useless probably, but it fills in the time. (excuses, excuses..)
I feel myself pushing the blade in deeper and deeper, yet I don't even notice myself holding the knife.
No, I'm not back to cutting. I'm not.
Somebody give me some goddamn pros. Cos my head has a chain of cons running through it.
Thanks for those who emailed me asking about work. It's fine. But I'm still in my probation period, so spending an hour and a half in the front office drinking with fellow employees probably isn't such a great idea. *mental note*
current mood:  cynical
current music: Love Foolosophy - Jamiroquai
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Sunday, March 10th, 2002
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6:52 am
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I'm late, I'm late, for a very important boring date.
An evening with dad's side of the family. How utterly enthralling.
No rest for the wicked.
But I got new shoes out of the deal, so who am I to complain.
current mood:  rushed
current music: Men Are Not Nice Guys - Grand Popo Football Club
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(I heard 3 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Sunday, March 3rd, 2002
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11:19 pm - Long time, no see.
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Hi guys.
It feels really weird updating LJ these days. I kinda miss having time to update it 100 times in one night, but it's probably better this way.
I've been really busy with work. For those who don't know, I got a job at a (kinda) local highschool as a trainee Network Admin. So that means I'm working either from 8 to 4, or 9 to 5, so I'm always realllllly tired by the time I get home. I'm enjoying it, the teachers and students are all really nice, the only drawback is that I get paid fortnightly, which just means I'll get 800 dollars every second friday rather than 400 every friday. Looks like I'll finally have money for socialising, so if anyone wants to catch up, send me an email and we can organize something.
Everyone else, take care and I miss you.
current mood:  calm
current music: Wherever, whenever - Shakira
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(I heard 13 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
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1:46 am
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Come to think of it, fuck that. Done with airing dirty laundry on LJ. If anyone actually cares, they can ask me personally. If not, I honestly don't give a fuck.
From now, my primary concerns are Dan, my good (real) friends, and my family. Everyone else can kiss my ass.
current mood: done
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(I heard 6 lies | Do you love me?)
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1:37 am
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Haven't updated for a long time.
Little disappointed to see some people I considered friends had removed me. Hi to the people who added me, though.
I'll talk to you all soon, and will explain then.
current mood: indifferent
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Sunday, February 10th, 2002
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9:55 am - Good grief.
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I'm in kinda a funk here guys.
I suddenly developed a shockingly bad mood. One of those moods where I feel like saying "fuck" a lot. (I have noone to say "fuck" to though, which is a problem.)
However, I'm also in a "Shocking disco songs of the 80s" mood. Strange combination.
So I'm here shake shake shakin' my booty with watery eyes and a huge frown. I'm one unhappy disco-er.
But...I will survive! *grooves*
current mood: bitchy
current music: Shake Your Booty - KC & The Sunshine Band
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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9:33 am - Hrm.
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Songs I'm downloading right now;
POD - Alive
10cc - Dreadlock Holiday
5 For Fighting - Um. Their new song.
KC & The Sunshine Band - Shake Your Booty
*nods*
Thought you all needed to know.
current mood: bored
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(I heard 2 lies | Do you love me?)
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8:38 am
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Hey people.
Just decided to download ICQ again. My number is 150155878 if anyone wants to add me. But for now...reboot time.
current mood: bored
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(Do you love me?)
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7:20 am
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Honeys, I'm home.
Got my nightie and slippers on, snacks close at hand (Yes, I'm still on a diet..shh) and my feet up.
Don't usually do the whole birthday thing, but would like to wish Miss Lunakat a very happy one. :) *hugs*
Now, have some email to reply to, some spam to delete, and some livejournals to read.
current mood: mellow
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(I heard 3 lies | Do you love me?)
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3:52 am - Greetings, lovely people.
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I'z home.
Just so I don't have to write a million "Thankyou" replies, thankyou for all the congratulations on the traineeship. *smile*
Spent last night at Dan's. We met up in the city, looked in shops, bought him dinner, etc etc. Thursday night he came over and we went to the mall, bought him dinner, looked in shops, etc etc. :) Then this morning, went shopping with Dan and Renai to buy stuff for her party. Then went to vote. (I voted labour!)
Tonight after I shower, I need to go drop my uncle home...then think I'll either go rent "The Godfather", which I've been meaning to watch, or come online. Either way, it's gonna be a sweatshirt/pants/big fluffy slippers/no makeup night. Relaxation is what's called for! Might get to catch up with some of you guys which would be funky.
Something in Dan's bed bit my leg about 4 times, and bit his finger, too. Ouch.
My father made dumplings for dinner and they just taste like big balls of flour. Yuckary. Speaking of which, I saw 2 mice at Daniel's place. Scary.
Um. Yes. Well, I'll be off to go do my errands now, but no doubt I'll be back later.
Oh, and before I go...HI BRENTON CORKY! I know you're reading this now, so *biiiiiiiig hugs*
current mood:  blank
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(I heard 9 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Thursday, February 7th, 2002
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8:59 pm - HOORAH.
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EXCUSE ME! AHOY!
I got the IT traineeship! Starting in 2 weeks time I'll actually be *working*.
Thought you guys might like to know! Especially a few people (you know who you are!)
Him; "Hello Melissa, I'm calling to congratulate you on winning the 2002 IT traineeship!"
Me; "Oh. Oh shit. Sorry."
How professional am I. But I just woke up, I couldn't help it!
*bounce*
MONEY!
current mood: ecstatic
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(I heard 16 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Wednesday, February 6th, 2002
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6:23 am - HELP.
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Ok guys, I'm really desperate and really serious.
Recommend ways for me to lose weight. And don't tell me to stop eating like one sarcastic unnamed person already has. I mean REAL ways.
Exercise routines? Exercise machines? Products? Recipies? ANYTHING!
[Edit]
I might start my own weightloss diary on here, cos I'm a little shy to post my measurements in this one. What I really want to lose is fat from my tummy, legs, butt, and thighs. I'd kinda like to keep my boobs, though!
[Edit #2]
Just realized I don't have any invite codes to make a journal. Would someone be able to email me a spare one pleasssse? Scrumpette@bigpond.com
current mood: frustrated
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(I heard 21 lies | Do you love me?)
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5:54 am
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Well, you know.
My boyfriend doesn't want to see me, I've gained a kg, my father hates me, and some highly intelligent anonymous (of course) commenter feels the urge to tell me I'm a jackass.
Duh. If I didn't already know that, I wouldn't be posting that I dislike myself. You think I give a fuck?
Yes, I'm trying to improve myself the only way I know how...it takes time, but I know when all is said and done, people only want to be around you when you're attractive. It makes me sick, but unless I want to be lonely, I better start trying extra hard.
Oh, and if anyone has any spare friends laying around...send em over to me, I'm getting desperate.
No, I don't feel sorry for myself. To feel sorry for someone you hafta care about them.
I appreciate you LJ people's comments, but if you ever saw me IRL you'd know what I'm complaining about. Ask anyone who knows me. (Good luck finding anyone.)
current mood: indifferent
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(I heard 12 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Tuesday, February 5th, 2002
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9:10 am
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8:33 am
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8:03 am
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Grrr. I have some weird cross between insomnia and uh...sleeping a whole lot.
I've been laying down trying to sleep, and couldn't...but I'm SO tired, and when I do fall asleep I'll probably sleep for 14 hours again. Quite ridiculous. Last night I had to read half of "The Godfather" before I could sleep at all.
I was out today. Grocery shopping, and all that. I saw someone. Wearing something I didn't like. I was angry. Vague? Yes. I shall explain.
Remember when I did work experience at that hotel not long ago? I worked extra hard, extra hours, didn't take any breaks, was friendly with the customers, and enjoyed my work there. Halfway through my work experience, a girl from the bar course I did joined me. She did work experience for a week less than me, less hours, shitty attitude, took lots of breaks, etc etc.
Anyway, at the end of it, I didn't get shit. I didn't really expect anything, but the manager said there were no jobs there, and that I'd be the first person he'd call if something came up.
I saw the other girl today, wearing a uniform from that hotel. I am not impressed.
Why was she hired and not me? Probably because she's about 5'3, long blonde hair, blue eyes, and tiny as hell. Whereas yours truley is 5'5, short black hair, blue eyes, and chubby. But still. Everyone thought she was beautiful, whereas I'm not what anyone would consider anything special to look at. I know appearances aren't the be all and end all, but this time I believe they were a major contributer. I did better work than her, so yes, I'm bitter.
Also the Casino never called me back about the interview I had there. So I'm also somewhat bitter about that.
However I got a call from a local Highschool today, about the government Information Technology Traineeship I signed up for. Interview on wednesday. Pesimistic.
I'm looking at websites about torture devices until I feel sleepy enough to go back to bed. It suits my mood. And WTF ever happened to www.torture.net anyway?!
I feel icky, and ugly, and unwanted, and useless. But then, that's better than how I usually feel.
[/Whine]
current mood: aggravated
current music: Sister Hazel - Champagne High
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(I heard 16 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
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11:30 pm
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A quick update before I go to do some stuff.
Last night I went to a little cinema near my house with my mother. Movies here usually cost umm..14.50 for one movie, I think it is. At this place, it's 7.50 for 2 movies...only problem is, usually they're movies I've never heard of.
So, last night I wound up sitting through "Gwuinevere" (or however you spell it), and "The Golden Bowl". The first one was good, I could probably see it again, but the second one was way too long. I looked over and saw my mother asleep during the first movie, and I ended up falling asleep during the second one. (Hey, the seats were comfortable!)
Next week they're having "Lord of the Rings" and some new movie with Cameron Diaz. I might go.
Yes, I did get my hair done. The good news is, it's black. The bad news is, I let them cut it too short. I told them to just trim it, but apparently I wasn't paying attention, cos I walked out with it just above my shoulders. I'm *so* not used to short hair, and Daniel is going to hate it because he prefers long hair. But apparently he dyed his hair blue and cut it too, so I guess we'll be even.
Tonight is sky show. Crowds. Ugh. So I better go call Dan and organize something.
(And thanks for all answers to my last post's questions...keep em comin!)
current mood: discontent
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Friday, February 1st, 2002
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10:28 am
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I saw the video for Duran Duran's "Ordinary World" today, so I had to download it. Isn't it the most gorgeous song ever!
Ok, got a few questions for ya, mostly totally unrelated. And I may have asked em before, but pfft.
1. Recommend a song or some songs for me to download.
2. Describe to me your perfect partner, looks wise, and personality wise.
3. Describe to me a moment in your life when you felt incredibly loved and special.
4. If you could change one thing about yourself 1; Looks wise, and 2; Personality wise, what would it be?
5. Tell me some things to write poems about. C'mon, anything!
*twiddles thumbs and waits for answers*
current mood:  curious
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(I heard 29 lies | Do you love me?)
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8:10 am
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Umm. Hi.
Today was fascinating.
I woke up. I went back to sleep. Repeat x100.
I woke up for good. Stumbled out of bed. Watched some romance movie with that chick from "Touched by an angel" in it. I must be getting older, because romantic movies are becoming more appealing to me by the day. But I would like to know why every romance has a grey haired guy as the male lead.
Had a shower. Shaved. Did nails. Plucked. Dried hair. Collected almost overdue videos from the boi. Watched Maury, Jenny, and Blind Date.
Tomorrow I get my hair dyed again. Black. No matter how often I get it dyed black, it keeps going back to a weird brown/red color. Still, I'll keep trying. Gonna go all out this time and get a haircut, and perhaps streaks. Not sure what style I want though, so I'm about to go searching for pictures. I kinda like the short messy styles, but real short hair doesn't suit me.
Big Day Out is tomorrow. I ain't goin. Never have. Not enough bands that I like, too crowded, too expensive, and I'm busy anyway.
My current favorite song is "Movies" by Alien Ant Farm. Is it just me, or is Dryden's (or whatever the lead singers name is) voice quite sexy in that song?
Still haven't solved the mysterious Andrew mystery. Call me back, whoever you are. Dying of curiosity.
Hm. So what hairstyles do *you* like on girls?
Oh, and the videos I'm referring to are;
Surf Nazis Must Die (WTF.)
From Dusk Till Dawn (Kickass.)
Dusk Till Dawn 2 (Ain't watched it yet.)
Virtual Sexuality (Amusing)
The Other Sister (Faaantastic!)
current mood: frustrated
current music: Movies - Alien Ant Farm
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(I heard 10 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Thursday, January 31st, 2002
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4:22 am
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Also I have a little bothersome problem I'd like to ramble about.
I'm getting seriously tired of email from random people asking stupid questions.
No, people. "Casual fun" is not on my "To-Do" agenda. No, I don't want to have sex. No, I don't want another boyfriend. Get a life, jesus.
current mood: cranky
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(I heard 14 lies | Do you love me?)
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4:07 am
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I feel sick. Ugh.
So, I was driving along, as you do...and I heard someone beeping their horn. Scared the bejesus outta me. I looked around. No cars. I shrugged and kept driving. More honking, looked around, no cars. It took me a few kilometres before I realized it was me doing the honking. Well not me, but the car. So I began my trek (or drive, shall I say) to the mechanics, all the while pondering the idea of my car being possessed, and all the while trying to block my ears from the now continous honking of my car horn. Yes, I really believed my car was possessed. So I went in and told the guy that my car is honking by itself. He looked at me in a manner which would indicate his "Wtf? You weirdo!" thoughts towards me.
Anyway, he fixed it. Some little rubber part in the horn had worn away, so he just disconected the whole thing, cos I couldn't afford 50 bucks for a new one. Besides, I've never once used my horn except to beep goodbye to people as I drive away from their house.
So of course, for the first time in my driving life, I needed the horn twice. Once when a truck attempted to pull in front of me, and the other when an old man in a VW came dangerously close to rubbing sides with my car.
But all is well. Car is still in one piece, as am I. Well, excepting the horn part. But that's okay.
...
So ANYWAY. Someone called my place last night when I was out with Dan (seeing Shallow Hal..funny movie!) and I have no idea who it is. Supposedly their name is Andrew, and when my mother asked if they know me from the internet, they said yes. But hung up halfway through giving my mother their phone number. There are several problems with this;
1. I don't know anyone named Andrew
2. Only people that I'm friendly with call me "Mel", and that's who they asked for.
3. When my mother said no, they asked if I was at a bar. So this someone knows I like the occassional(?) drink.
4. The (half) number they gave is from my area, and I don't speak to or know anyone who lives around here.
Anyone care to enlighten me?
current mood: curious
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(I heard 8 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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12:58 am
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Some drunk fucker broke my dad's windscreen with a boot. The shit cab drivers hafta put up with is amazing.
And guess what? Daddy has to pay for it.
current mood: infuriated
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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12:12 am - .
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Been a little "under the weather" for the last couple of days, and there's a lot I probably should update about, but to be honest I can't be bothered. I know I'm neglecting LJ a lot lately, but things are going on in real life which are kinda complicated.
It's nice to know that certain people forget you once you've been away for awhile though. *raises eyebrow*
One thing I will say though, is that I bought inoxia foundation for $30, which is the most I've ever spent on one item of makeup. And my face is clearing up so I'm looking somewhat better than before. *toot toot*
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(I heard 4 lies | Do you love me?)
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12:08 am
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Hey guys :) Just have 2 things to say;
1. Welcome to all new members, hope you enjoy it here, and;
2. Who's going to Skyshow? Might be a good chance to catch up with each other, yes?
[Edit; This entry was supposed to go in the Adelaideians journal. Sorry!]
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(I heard 3 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Tuesday, January 22nd, 2002
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10:23 am
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I'd just like to mention that attempting to watch the Golden Globes with your father in the background yelling "GO BACK TO HAPPY DAYS, YOU WUSS!" at Ron Howard, is rather distracting.
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(I heard 8 lies | Do you love me?)
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10:15 am - My sense of humor is strange.
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I was reading www.somethingawful.com as recommended by Dan a few days ago, the Jeff K section in particular, and came across this;
"And yes I am an Amamrican becuase I dont liek those othar countries like Canananadanda and Mexico and Lady Libarty si for me. Amamrican is teh country for me! peopal from foreign countries talk liek nutsos like my science teachar, Mr. Belfinger:
ME (AT SCHOOL): "helo, hear si my science paper Mr. Belfinger."
MR BELFINGER: "Ahoy and good tideings, cheerio! poppies and fritz to yuor bloody lorrey, guvnah!"
ME: "WHAT?!?!?!?!??!"
MR. BELFINGER: "Git that swazzlestick, ye tirannick despot!"
ME: "GO BACK TO CUBA YUO BUTTPOPE""
I don't know why, but I found it hilarious. At least I'm cheap to amuse.
Also, I'm going to start setting goals for myself every week. Small ones perhaps, but goals nontheless. This week I'll;
1. See a foreign film as I've wanted to for awhile.
2. Get my ears pierced (yes, again..)
3. Try to get somewhat up to date with my overdue bills.
Today I saw 3 new Volkswagons. So I suppose a long term goal of mine can be to save for one of those. But I'm a fair way off 43K unfortunately. Quick, someone buy me one.
current mood:  blah
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(I heard 2 lies | Do you love me?)
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8:55 am - A little (long) update.
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What shall I tell you about.
Saturday night I went to my mother's aunts place. Her apartment is gorgeous, and she's always good for a laugh. Was quite relaxing. She has somewhat of an infectious laugh. That's always good.
Yesterday I went to Daniel's mother's birthday party at her friend Con's place. I thought there would be more people there, but there was only Dan, me, Renai, Dan's mum, Dan's aunt, Rachel (his cousin), his uncle, his uncle's girlfriend and 2 kids, his grandma, and Sam (his mums's friend.)
The food was...nice, and we found a stash of porn, which was somewhat interesting.
Then we (Dan, Renai, his mother, Sam, and I) went to his mother's new office and cleaned. Well, Dan, Renai and I anyway. Only we didn't really clean. We had a pepsi/water/fried rice fight, and all ended up completely drenched...which I wasn't really into, due to "Wet Tshirt Syndrome" (Yes, you all know what I'm talking about...) but so be it. Then eventually went back to his place, put one of Dan's shirts on, waited for mine to dry, and went home.
Today I had my interview at the Casino. There were 2 woman there doing it, which made me nervous, and it wasn't a group interview as I previously thought. The interview itself went for about 15 minutes, then I was sent off to a room on my own to fill in another application form, as well as forms about my health and medical history, interests, a few pages of math questions, a few pages of alcohol related questions (which I fucked up on...wtf is a portergaff anyway??) and some other stuff. Took me ages to attempt those, and I was still going when 2 other girls joined me to fill in theirs too. They looked just as lost as me, which made me feel somewhat better. One of the girls started looking around the room for a security camera, so she could call her dad for the answers. It reminded me of "Who wants to be a millionaire" only I didn't have any lifeline. Yes, I think I well and truley fucked up. But I won't find out till next week. There are many advantages to working there though, like them doing all your laundry for you, getting a free three course meal during every shift, and not to mention the pay. 14 dollars an hour on weekdays, 20 on Friday and Saturday, and 25 on Sunday and public holidays.
My mother is hopeful about it. My father perhaps less so. He called to see how it went, I said "fine", and he said "Better luck next time." Also he was worried about if I get free shoes or not. (No idea.)
After, I went grocery shopping, and on various other errands. Spoke to Dan on the phone, too. Tonight will be an early night because I was up at 7am, which is unusual for me.
Tomorrow is another busy day. Hafta go to centrelink, go to arrange getting a copy of my birth certificate, a concession transport card, then to Dan's mothers office to help out for the day.
My hips annoy me. Well, my outer thighs actually. Saddlebags, and how to get rid of them. Don't eat, yes that's always a good solution. *rolls eyes* I also broke another nail today. 2 down, 8 to go.
Watching Golden Globes. Go Australians! *cheers*
There are so many movies I need to see right now. One day there's none I want to see, then a huge bunch of movies come out at the same time that I'm interested in. Ocean's 11, Jeepers Creepers, Shallow Hal, Vanilla Sky, Rat Race, and The One. Who's gonna go with me? Also, I need to rent "Romance" again. Love that movie. Anyone else seen it?
Ok, sorry to bore you. Carry on.
current mood: sleepy
current music: Elisabeth - Billy Gilman
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(I heard 12 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Sunday, January 20th, 2002
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5:06 am
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I have a few other unimportant things to say;
1. Yesterday I broke a nail. To that, I say BUGGER!
2. There are a few people I'm mighty annoyed with at the moment, and they probably don't know who they are. Probably better that way. Grr.
3. Poop.
4. Must go take my uncle home. Don't miss me too much. *rolls eyes*
current mood: cranky
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(I heard 6 lies | Do you love me?)
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3:35 am
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In true internet addict style, I'm updating as soon as I got home from Dan's place. But I won't tell you about that yet, cos I forgot to write about the other night I was there.
I was supposed to meet Nathan, and Dan came over..we waited around, then I finally decided to call to see if he was coming or not, but he was called into work so he wasn't. Good thing I called to check or we'd have been waiting all night. So instead Dan and I went to Glenelg, played pool (he hit the balls off the table a lot of times, and we thought we were gonna get kicked out..), had dinner at Hungry Jacks (watched some feral guys throw their burgers at the wall), and had gelati. Then I went back to his place, and his cousins Rachel and Josh were there. Played playstation for awhile, then went home.
Last night he came with his dad to pick me up. We went to the video store and rented Tony Hawk 2 (we wanted #3, but it was out...) and Evil Dead. Tony Hawk 2 was pretty good, but I don't think I've ever played a worse game than Evil Dead. I had a nice time, and the rest of the night was filled with the normal bf/gf type activities. This morning we woke up, ate chocolate, watched some show about buying your own franchise (hey, there was nothing else on!) then played Tony Hawk 2, and Worms (on his PC). Then I came home, and here I am.
It's FUCKING HOT. I HATE HATE HATE this weather. If the weather was a person, I'd kick its ass. That's all I have to say about that.
*Fans self*
current mood: hot
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(I heard 2 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Friday, January 18th, 2002
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2:51 am - You know what's weird?
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You wait for something for so long, then when you least expect it..everything you wanted pops up at once.
What I mean is, as you all know I've been unemployed for *insert extremely high number* of uh..months..and the only job offer I was given was to work behind the bar for the perverted guy on the other side of town (which I turned down..)
Now, as you know...I got the letter from the government quite recently saying they'd start trying to find a place for me to begin my clerical traineeship.
Now next week I'm working 4 days (and maybe more afterwards, if I'm needed and/or available) for Dan's mother at her new Dating Agency type thing.
Then TODAY I get a call from Skycity (the Adelaide Casino) saying they want me for an interview on monday. A food & beverage position, they said...so I'm assuming it's either working in one of their restaraunts, or as a barperson. Either way, it's a one and a half hour interview, so I'm thinking I might have a pretty good chance.
Jobs jobs jobs, where were you 3 years ago?!
(Better late than never, yes?)
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(I heard 10 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Wednesday, January 16th, 2002
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12:15 pm
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I'm a good person, honestly...
[if i can't convince myself, perhaps i can convince you]
current mood: confused
current music: Poe - Beautiful Girl
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(I heard 9 lies | Do you love me?)
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11:09 am - Ah.
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I can't sleep. I've been lying in bed for hours staring at the stars on the ceiling and thinking.
I don't know anyone in the world who is truly happy. I often wonder whether it's going to take me a whole lifetime to figure out how to be happy myself. It would be nice to be able to wave a magic wand and make everyone in the world happy, and to fill their minds with only the most wonderful memories. Take all the pain away. I hesitate to say I cry for everyone in the world who has painful memories, at the risk of sounding cheesy. But I do, often. I've heard so many sad stories from people in my life, it hurts to think how so many people in the world are in pain right now. I know I don't help the situation myself, I've been such a bitch in my life and have surely caused my share of pain, and I so wish I could stop. I hate myself for being the cause of anyone elses unhappiness.
I care about a hell of a lot of people, and there's a hell of a lot of spare love in my heart. I just wish I knew a way to send it out to everyone who needs it. I know all this sounds very silly, but these are the things I think about when I lie awake at night.
I can't even make my own boyfriend happy, let alone anyone else in the world. Let alone myself. If thoughts could magically be turned accurately into actions, I'd never hurt anyone else in my life...but the path between thought and action becomes riddled with obstacles so often.
I'm so unhappy, but I don't know why. I feel very alone, especially lately...I just wish I could put my finger on the cause. I have no right to need and want things which I can't provide other people with myself. But I do.
Do I make any sense at all? I hope somebody understands me, because I'm not sure I do.
current mood:  listless
current music: There You Are - Martina McBride
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(I heard 17 lies | Do you love me?)
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2:04 am
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Grrr. Just had an update written, and IE crashed. I'll try again.
Sorry for the lack of LJ updating lately. I miss and love all you guys and will try to catch up with reading/commenting soon.
Went to Dan's last night. Watched "The Eighteenth Angel" movie we rented, then realized halfway through that I'd already seen it on cable. Noticed some funky fireworks happening in the city too, so watched those from his bedroom window.
We made Pita bread pizza. I've yet to master the art of making those at home, but whenever we make them at his place, they taste damn good. Oh, and we played Tony Hawk too, of course.
I just finished watching a romance movie with Gail O'Grady in it. Two of Hearts I think it was called. It's rare for me to find a blonde-haired actress sexy, but goddamnit, she's one helluva gorgeous woman.
For the last few nights, I've been dreaming about boys I went to primary school with. I won't name names here (on the off chance they read LJ...hey, it's a small world!) I'm not talking about sex dreams or anything, just regular dreams that feature those boys in them. Kinda strange, cos they never even cross my mind any other time. It would be cool to have a primary school reunion, but I only finished there in 1990, so it's probably a little soon for that!
It seems like I dream more when it's warmer weather. All the latest dreams I've had have been extremely long, though I can't remember all the details now. I need to start a dream diary again.
I think I'm gonna go website searching. No doubt I'll be back again before you know it!
Also, I have one question. What is the single most romantic moment of your life? I need to know!
current mood: awake
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(I heard 17 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Sunday, January 13th, 2002
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10:37 am
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So fucking tired.
I've been on the couch dozing and watching (I'm multi-talented) 'Where The Heart Is'. Good movie, but it had Ashley Judd in it, so how could it *not* be.
I'm not gonna talk about last night. All I will say is, we rented 'Heartbreakers' (didn't watch it), 'Mask' (old favorite), 'Eighteenth Angel' (didn't watch it), and 'Series 7' (borrrrrring.)
We drank.
Nothing else to say, except thanks Renai for lending me the skirt, and I'll return it next time I see you.
Oh, and I went for a ride in a uh...some sports car. Porsche X3? Something X3.
Also, my ears hurt. Where I got the new holes pierced. Grr. It's hard to sleep on them, but I can't take them out for another 5 weeks. Poop.
Zat eez all.
current mood: tired
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Friday, January 11th, 2002
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11:54 am
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Hello!
Today I...
Ahh, fuck it. I'm tired.
Today, I attempted to update LJ, decided I was tired, and went to bed.
G'nite!
current mood: exhausted
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(I heard 9 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Thursday, January 10th, 2002
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4:00 am - I forgot something ELSE.
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I was sitting in the food court, innocently eating my KFC fries and naan bread (weird combination, I know..) when a lady came and sat at the table next to me. I smiled at her. as you do...and she came and sat next to me and started talking.
Now, I have nothing against chatting to strangers, but interrupting my eating is a big no-no, and if someone does feel the need to invite themselves over to my table to start yakking, they could at least try to make sense.
She started off talking about the lights at the mall, and how last week someone accidentally switched them off or somesuch. I nodded. Then she started talking about some christian TV show. But it wasn't like 2 seperate conversations...it just kinda all melted into one long string of bullshit.
"And they just accidentally leaned against the lights and they all went off, and the television show on ACE channel at 9.30 has the man on it, the one who has problems with his inner child. His father was alcoholic you know, and he doesn't seem to be able to hold down a relationship."
She peered at me, waiting for a response.
"Ah yes. That guy." I replied, fumbling with my fries.
"You've seen it!! You know, his mother was alcoholic too. Do you have conflict with your inner child?"
"Erm. No. My inner child is ok, I think." By this time I was trying to decide whether she was a religious freak trying to convert me, or just a lonely mentally challenged person.
So I listened to her ramble about the conflicts she has with herself, the man on TV, christmas, and alcoholism.
For awhile.
Before I interrupted her and excused myself to go to the bathroom.
Yeah, I feel kinda bad. It's just there are some people I'm not quite sure how to take.
current mood: curious
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(I heard 10 lies | Do you love me?)
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3:28 am - Eeep!
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Oh, and I forgot the exciting part. It'll be kinda a celebratory dinner tonight, because I got a letter saying I've been accepted into the government traineeship thing I applied for. Now they start the tedious process of finding a suitable government agency to place me in for a year. FINALLY, a job! Hurry up damnit, government people!
My dad wants me to be placed in the Department of Primary Industries sector, because that's where he used to work. (He used to be a meat inspector, back in the day...) but I'm not so sure. Anywhere will be fine, at least I'll be getting nice weekly pay finally!
It will be reception and secretarial work, wherever I'm placed. Let's just hope it's not centrelink! (Australian people will know why I have a severe disliking of Centrelink!)
*bounce bounce*
current mood: ecstatic
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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3:21 am - Greetings!
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Howwwwwwwdy.
How is you all?
I'm fine. I've just been shopping, though I didn't actually buy much. I did get Dan an anti dandruff brush though (we're past the "Must buy something romantic" stage, and onto the "Must buy something practical" stage..) I was going to surprise him with it, but it's not much of a surprise really, I suppose. Maybe if I tie a ribbon around it, it'll look better.
Last night I went to Dan's again. We played playstation (Quake, Tony Hawk, LAPD, etc) and watched TV. Also totally grossed out Renai with our sex talk. Poor girl :(
I got my ears pierced...again. I'm a bit compulsive like that. I saw some earrings I liked, and the next thing I knew I was in the chair getting em in my ears. Now I have 3 holes in each ear. I just wish I was as compulsive with getting the belly button done.
Anyway, must go now. Tonight I'm taking my boi out for dinner somewhere nice (not KFC.) (yeah, that's a turnaround!) so I need to go count my money like the tightwad I am.
Love ya all!
current mood:  accomplished
current music: MJ - Rock With You
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(Do you love me?)
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| Wednesday, January 9th, 2002
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3:46 am - Howdy.
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Haven't updated for awhile so here you go. Another disjointed, non sensical, all-over-the-place post from this confused little bunny.
I finished Larn the other day. Grrr. That was my main passtime for a long time, but it ain't no fun anymore..so I've moved back to The Sims. Good game.
I had to go to Centrelink today to drop in a form. Long wait, as usual. Then to the bank, to get my ATM card activated and change my pin number. Discovered I had some spare money left over from last week, so bought some stuff for some people.
Tomorrow is billpaying day. Fun!
Yesterday dad's taxi broke down at a taxi stand in the middle of a shopping centre carpark. Of course, he called me...so it was Mel to the rescue. Towed his car out of the carpark, to the mechanic. What a funky mood he was in yesterday. Yelling and screaming for no reason. People, if you want me to do nice things for you, it would pay you to actually attempt to be nice to me. Just a suggestion.
Went to Dan's last night. Watched TV, played WWF smackdown and Tony Hawk again. Saw the last episode of Ali G *sniff* and came home at about 2.
And Nathan, if you're reading this...Mum just told me today that you called but I can't find your phone # anywhere, so could you email it to me when you get the chance?
Had a dream last night about an ex boyfriend, some guys from my primary school, stonethecrow, and fireburner. Weird shit.
Ouch. I just tore a big hunk of skin off my lip. Fuck. Guess now is a good time to end the post, then!
*runs to the bathroom*
current mood: sore
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(I heard 6 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Sunday, January 6th, 2002
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10:35 am - Hello.
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There are nights when you feel -so- unloved.
This is not one of them.
I was on the verge, but then I snapped myself back out of it and said, "Look you silly little goose, what does it matter if people love you or not, as long as you love yourself?"
Course, I don't love myself which is always a problem.
I watched Angela's Ashes (again) and Freddy Got Fingered last night. And I ate KFC. And I witnessed a disemboweled rat. And and. That's all. Kinda.
It's soooooo hot. It was like, 33 degrees today...which is a problem. Cos I like keeping my wholeeee body covered, even in hot weather. I need to get over this anti-body-showing phase, or one of these days I'll just completely melt and become nothing but a puddle of Mel. Then what! Who'll clean me up?!
I went for a drive tonight and was amazed by the number of wankers on the road. The first guy I was behind kept sitting at green lights and waiting for them to turn greener, apparently. I was forced to beep him, even though everyone knows I'm very anti-beep, cos I don't want people to think I'm rude or impatient (even if I am.)
The second person kept waving their hand willy nilly out the window. People in Adelaide go crazy over hot weather for some reason. Then at the red lights they stuck their head out the window, too. It annoyed me no end, though I'm not sure why. I guess some heads just shouldn't be shown in public.
The third person kept indicating to go left, then turning right, or vice versa. It was muchos annoying.
When I got home, the cat was waiting at the gate for me, and when I opened the car door, she jumped in with me. She's one weird cat.
I don't know. I just feel like rambling.
I might take pictures tonight. Then again, I might not. For now though, I think I'm going to go take a cold shower. No, I'm not horny, just hot. Well, not HOT hot, but weatherwise hot. *nods*
I haven't even been drinking. How sad.
current mood:  hyper
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(I heard 10 lies | Do you love me?)
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| Saturday, January 5th, 2002
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2:41 am
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| Friday, January 4th, 2002
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1:56 pm
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We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh, how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to realize
What's in yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there
When you are with me I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My Sacrifice
current mood: numb
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(I heard 7 lies | Do you love me?)
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